Avoiding being a Router
Scenario
There are many times a project manager runs into this situation. Two senior leaders do not have the intent to work with each other, but they need to make a decision on a particular topic. The reason for not having the intent could be due to ego clashes, avoiding uncomfortable discussions, political priorities or it could be any other reason. The two leaders try to push the issue onto a project manager who is typically two or more levels below them in the organization hierarchy. They use typical management techniques like "You need to take up challenging tasks to help you grow".
As a Fresh Project Manager
When I was young, full of energy and ready to conquer the world, I used to think of such tasks as a "recognition of my hard work". I used to think that the leaders have "trusted" me to solve this complex task. This will most often lead into a vicious spiral trap of never ending discussions and emails. These are highly draining as the frustration of not accomplishing the task keeps mounting and more importantly you will start feeling "why am I wasting my time in this non value-added task?". Finally I would have somehow completed the tasks after spending a lot of time. However, in most cases, I used to end up with making an incorrect decision from the success of the project point of view. In many occasions, I also used to "disappoint" one or both the leaders. Bottom-line: It is a painful conclusion.
With a Salt -N- Pepper Look & Many More Battle Wounds
The first step I would take is – Setup a meeting with both the leaders and let them talk to each other. Let me be open - This is not that simple! They will find reasons not to show up in the meetings!
If the meeting idea doesn't work, the next step is to write a simple email addressed to both the leaders. The email should provide background of the topic and the clear description of the required decision. The email should also clearly state the person from whom a decision is expected. It should also call out who the requester of the decision is.
Another useful step in this situation is to get a detailed technical understanding of the topic being discussed BEFORE setting up the meeting or sending the email. This helps in effective facilitation of the meeting/email-discussions.
Finally, you need to be extremely professional in your discussions or emails. When sending emails, always be aware of the fact that the email can be forwarded to anyone in the company. Ex: your manager, HR, department head... Any email should be written such a way that no one will feel offended. Do not show your emotions in the email. Always remember, emails are HIGHLY INSENSITIVE. The intent of the email as understood by the reader is decided based on two factors:
The mental state of the reader at the time of reading the email
The perception the reader has on the sender
It is very important to feel empowered. As the project manager, you have the right to setup such meetings. Your objective is not to "make a senior leader happy". Your objective is success of the project.
You might be wondering "What if one of the leaders develops a grudge on me". That is a fair question. My experience says that – If the leader has the mentality of developing a grudge on you in such situation, then even if you solve this problem as per his expectation, he will find another reason to develop a grudge on you in some other context. In other words, you cannot be a successful project manager if you are afraid of taking on such challenges.
By following this approach, you would have saved a lot of one of your most important resource – Your bandwidth. You will also avoid a lot of negative energy by avoiding demotivating thoughts.